I sat in the quiet of my car for the first time this week. This wonderfully, busy, noisy, hectic week.
It had become commonplace for the last month. My daily commutes to the proton center afforded me at least an hour and a half of car time.
Being in the car by myself is very relaxing to me. Most of the time, I listen to music. And lately, I have rediscovered listening to the local Christian radio station.
Normally, we listen to Christian CDs in the car. By listen, though, I mean it is simply background noise to the louder noise being made by any number of children in my car. We know what the music is saying, because at one time or another we have actually heard it in its entirety.
But, tonight, I could hear the music playing on the radio as M3 was on the softball field and M4 was asleep in my lap in the driver's seat (I was parked in the parking lot).
A "new" song by Mercy Me called "Finally Home" came on the radio.
You know how music has a way of triggering memories? It brought back a great memory for me - the first time I heard the song.
It was last summer at the YMCA of the Rockies. We managed to squeeze a few day's stay there on our way home from Steamboat Springs. When we arrived, we discovered that it was Gospel Music Association week on campus. There were Christian musicians, worship leaders, etc. everywhere! And they had a concert every night!
Although I would have liked to have gone to them all, I restrained myself and picked one - Mercy Me. There was another group and singer who performed "warm-up" that night, too. The first group was pretty hard rock. I can remember the music reverberating in my chest. I had this "allergy" thing going at the time. I didn't really know how sick I was yet.
And Mercy Me sang "Finally Home".
Hearing it tonight made me think of the me I used to be. The me that was blissfully unaware of what cancer would do to me in the coming months.
All of the sudden, tonight, I realized that I am on the other side.
And I wondered, "How did I make it here?"
It was as if it was all a dream and I had just awakened.
But it did all really happen. Six months of my life has passed since that night. I have suffered serious illness. I have been ministered to, prayed for, touched, fed and cared for.
I made it here because my husband said, "We are going to beat this thing."
I made it here because people that know and love me and strangers have prayed.
I made it here because people have encouraged me in spoken and written word.
I made it here because God promised me I would.
Sweetness from Sadness
2 weeks ago