Those of you that know me and have seen me these days might like an explanation.
I'm not sad or scared or even a little worried (at least today). Instead, I'm downright happy.
Before you start thinking about a little padded room, let me explain:
Last year, when we were told the baby we were expecting would die, we were devestated.
But as we sat there in the ultrasound room, God came alongside me and began to dwell WITH me. What I was incapable of doing anymore on my own - EVERYTHING - He carried me through.
I would never have CHOSEN to live through burying a child, but I wouldn't trade the experience for the world because of the tangible presence of the Lord in those days.
By no means do I miss the crushing grief and heartache, but I have longed to feel HIS PRESENCE again even though I know He is always with me.
I guess I've become a sort of like a junkie. Once you experience His presence, you can never have enough. The trouble is, you only truly get it when the really hard times come.
So, as I have walked this path so far, I have looked forward in anticipation. To either as short illness or a good, long walk with the God I love. And since it is looking like it is going to be a long walk, I am at peace, knowing that He is there.
The LORD YOUR GOD is WITH YOU . . .Zephaniah 3:17
I'm not sad or scared or even a little worried (at least today). Instead, I'm downright happy.
Before you start thinking about a little padded room, let me explain:
Last year, when we were told the baby we were expecting would die, we were devestated.
But as we sat there in the ultrasound room, God came alongside me and began to dwell WITH me. What I was incapable of doing anymore on my own - EVERYTHING - He carried me through.
I would never have CHOSEN to live through burying a child, but I wouldn't trade the experience for the world because of the tangible presence of the Lord in those days.
By no means do I miss the crushing grief and heartache, but I have longed to feel HIS PRESENCE again even though I know He is always with me.
I guess I've become a sort of like a junkie. Once you experience His presence, you can never have enough. The trouble is, you only truly get it when the really hard times come.
So, as I have walked this path so far, I have looked forward in anticipation. To either as short illness or a good, long walk with the God I love. And since it is looking like it is going to be a long walk, I am at peace, knowing that He is there.
The LORD YOUR GOD is WITH YOU . . .Zephaniah 3:17
3 comments:
Hi Molly! Thanks for sharing your diagnosis and chronicle.
In 2001, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It had spread and would be treated with surgery, chemo, radiation, and hormone blockers. If you need to visit or ask questions about what to expect before, during, and after treatment, please call on me. Also, my children had just turned 5 and 7 at the time of my diagnosis. That, of course, adds a different dimension to the journey. It's not always an easy journey, but faith and friends will carry you.
My prayers are with you!
Allyson (Wallis) Campsey
Hi Molly, This is Teresa Moon. Just wanted you to know that I am praying for you daily. Your blog will help me and others know how to specifically lift you in prayer each day.
Teresa (Talbert) Moon
Molly-
I love how you continue to keep all of this in the long-term perspective. It is such a hard thing you are facing and yet God continues to give you wisdom and a peace... one that is evident through your words. I know what you went through last year was so painful and yet, as you say, the Lord completely carried you. It is such a beautiful feeling isn't it? I pray that He will continue to do so through all of this... and I know He will... He is ever faithful!
Blessings,
Kenzie
Post a Comment